Happy Fourth of July and 250 years
Our best stories are hiding in plain sight and when we share them we experience ourselves in a new way.
Our country exists because hundreds of years ago Native Americans demonstrated Humanity. When ships full of oddly dressed, and very melanin- free white folks staggered across the beach, their arrival was witnessed by Native Americans knew that “these people are not going to survive if we don’t help”
So our Indigenous people did a courageous thing – They helped strangers and demonstrated the Original American Value – Sharing and Community — they shared their food, knowledge and their land. They took a chance that these actions would be enough and they could co-exist with these odd people.
We are also here because many people who came before us were resilient – not by choice but by necessity. Tethered and chained. Conscripted .Working the fields, railways and mines – Nameless and the unseen “those they don’t matter but we need them people” who have served as human fuel for our American vision and projects. They did and continue to do the work that we need but do not want to do.
What if we used this 4th to remember that our stories started somewhere else- that our way back when relatives were considered problems – They were too poor, too many, too needy, and a troublesome risk.
What if we stopped to consider that many of the stories we inherited in our families were born in anger, ignorance and the fear that there will not be enough to share and we will lose what we have. It’s better to push others away. It’s safer.
When I was growing up in Queens nearly everyone on that street came from another country. They had saved and struggled to buy a house and obtain their piece of the American Dream.
When I was in middle school an African American family moved into the Brown house on the corner. I remember hearing a few of the neighbors expressing worry that bad things would start to happen and that their houses would become worthless. I heard one of them ask “how did we let this happen and what can we do about this?” I was shocked because the person who asked this was always kind to me and now she seemed so different. Fortunately no one did something stupid and that house stayed tidy and well and the owners were nice people who I greeted on my way to the bus stop.
A year later a Filipino family moved in. They were short like me and spoke English in a singsongy way and always smiled when I passed.But I don’t remember them socializing with the other neighbors.
When they were here a year they invited our entire block to their home for a house blessing and party. It was such a great idea. The women on our block wouldn’t have to cook that night and none of them were going to stay home and miss out on an opportunity practise their collective noisiness and check out the inside of this house.Yes – Food and curiosity are the best ice breakers when you find that you are “the other”. When we arrived in a group where we were warmly greeted and saw that an abundant array of traditional foods had been prepared.. The owners had made a lot of noodles and spring rolls so I was very happy.
The following summer we received another house blessing invitation – and I remember my mother saying “they ‘re going to bless the house again? They did. This time we came in separate clusters. We brought more cake and I ate more noodles. I was very happy.
That family continued to invite everyone every year, embedding a love of Filipino food in my heart and a life lesson about sharing gratitude and food.
So I want to wish everyone a Happy 4th – Keep connecting with others. Listen and learn about the stories that are hiding in plain sight.
And take a minute to share an experience you had that changed “those people” into a neighbor and friend.
I learned it in Queens. Go here to hear the audio clip and learn more about my book
https://www.facebook.com/learneditinqueenscommunicationplaybook