I was supposed to be preparing to leave the Bonamanzi Game Resort and Conference Center today. I had been invited to present two workshops to members of the Lifeline Zululand community and my fellow authors and attend a book launch and the Beacon of Hope Mission Awards Gala.
I had prepared materials, stories, learned a couple of phrases in Zulu and Afrikaans through the help of others, and took what seemed like every vaccine known to humankind in preparation for this trek. Everything was going according to plan until it wasn’t.
About a week before I was slated to depart, I developed an issue in my right eye. Optometrist produced a care plan and cleared me for normal daily activities but said “You can’t fly.”
Now for someone who grew up in a household where missing school was rare option and who is part of a generation that hauled themselves into work if they were able to drag them out of bed – My non–attendance was unthinkable, but of course I complied.
While missing this incredible experience was disappointing, my inability to keep my in-person commitment was far worse. When I contacted Kelly Markey, the founder and event leader, she gave me the gift of understanding and grace. I appreciated how she received this information, but there had to be something I could do to “show up” for the attendees and the community.
What if I gave my presentations virtually? Unfortunately, time zones, timing, connectivity concerns, and timing rendered that option a nonstarter. I also knew that I had designed my workshop and mini speech to be personal and interactive. The sessions’ theme was building appreciation and connection through story sharing. I was fully aware that storytelling is an important part of the South African culture, so I was not going there to storytelling 101. Instead, I was going to use the session show how the act of listening ala the Narativ methodology and my humorous Learned It in Queens Communication Playbook stories would provide us with ample opportunities to show that we all have something in common and create connections.
I had been practicing saying a few Zulu greetings and was on a mission to share New York expressions like “schlep” and “fuhgetaboutit” “yagottabekiddingme?” in my efforts to create an energizing cross-cultural experience AND dispel some conceptions of that unique American breed of humans – New Yawkers.
So how could I show up and achieve my goal and keep it authentic?
My Inner Queens Girl woke me up at 3 a.m., with the answer. Why does her wisdom always have to kick in at that hour?!! But I digress.
“You are going to record the session and send it.”
Now this might sound like a no brainer idea for all of you who grew up recording and distributing a part of your daily experiences to the world.
However, the personal stories and exchanges that I had designed for the stage were going to require rethinking so that the audience would get a sense of energy and intent. It meant no one would be around to laugh at my jokes and let me know that they had “landed.”
I knew that I would need to practice “Story Tourism” in a new way. “Story Tourism” is the phrase I coined to describe how we experience unfamiliar lands, people, and ourselves with a fresh eye when we travel. Now we would need to travel by video without the help of our in-person smiles and body cues, or even the simple act of eating together.
So, I vetted the material to ensure that:
- My materials were relatable – I used the example of cooking a meal as a newlywed with my first-born Dublin Irish husband and Irish mother-in-law. I also called up my big brother – always a handy reference.
- My delivery would give the listeners time to learn and understand my accent and follow my comedic pacing.
- Provide the listeners with ample time to reflect and react with each other.
Here is the other thing – Providing a dry factual presentation is one thing, giving a humorous talk without the benefit of breathing or chuckles and movement.
About now, you’re probably saying to yourself “Didn’t she just complain about the muted, no people issue in virtual conferences in another post?” Yes, I did – I had reflected on my experience as a virtual panelist at the Storytelling conference based in Hamburg in a previous article. You can see that this has been a learning theme during 4th Quarter 2025.
But back to my points, my ability to deliver this session boiled down to these points:
- I had to keep it authentic and
- Keep it conversational.
- Visualize the audience in my head and heart while keeping locked eye contact with Logitech’s camera eyeball.
- Breathe.
- Make side bar comments about the material so it felt like more of an exchange and less of a lecture.
- Demonstrate that I love and enjoy story sharing and “were not talking at the audience but with them.”
- Pray the sound and recording was working (yes – I did a pre-record tech check, but you never know. And I would have wept profusely had it not recorded. Just saying.)
- End the session knowing that I had figured out a way to “show up” and there might a couple of South Africans imitating my accent now.
- On my end, I know I did my best to honor the greeting “Sawubona.” It means “I see you.” More than words of politeness, Sawubona carries the importance of recognizing the worth and dignity of each person. It says, “I see the whole of you—your experiences, your passions, your pain, your strengths and weaknesses, and your future. You are valuable to me.”
- So that’s my lesson – There is always a way to “show up.”
Ubunti – Never miss a chance to emphasize humanity, compassion, and interconnectedness